Meet Paul King, a professional funeral director with a passion for his profession serving South Woodham Ferrers and the surrounding areas. A family business offering compassionate support when you need it most. Providing professional funeral services with dignity, care, and respect for every family.
What is your journey into how you became a Funeral Director in South Woodham Ferrers?
My family have been involved in our profession since 1832, possibly before, as builders and undertakers. When I left school, I did my apprenticeship with a local builder and Funeral Director, albeit on the building side, qualifying as a bricklayer.
I then moved into funerals and monumental masonry with the Co-op but could see the opportunity of offering a more bespoke and personal offering. I looked at various towns to start and chose South Woodham Ferrers in 1995
What attributes do you think you need to be a good Funeral Director?
Be committed to putting others first- plus being empathetic and a willingness to serve families on the hardest journey of their life
How has the funeral industry changed in recent years, especially with shifts in memorial preferences or eco-friendly requests?
The profession has changed vastly in recent years, from the DIY funerals in the early 90’s, followed by Green burials, and now Direct Cremations. However, the traditional send-off is currently by far the most popular way of celebrating a life.
Funerals can be very expensive? What is the average price now for a traditional burial?
The average traditional funeral is around £4,000 – £5,000. The cost of the actual grave is outside our control and ranges from a few hundred pounds up to several thousands depending where the grave is. Typically, within the London Boroughs where we sometimes go they are tens of thousands.
Are you finding that people are tending to opt more for direct funerals now because they are cheaper?
20% of the nation’s funerals are now Direct Cremations where there is no service or attendance of families. They are low cost but the choice to do this type of funeral is rarely just about saving money. It is a big topic that has different views. Personally, a funeral is a way of closure for those left behind, this extends beyond the immediate family but is also for friends and neighbours too.
What are the advantages or disadvantages of direct funerals to traditional funerals?
Advantages are that they are cheaper and there are no choices for a family to make, they don’t have to think about favourite music, coffins, flowers etc. Direct Cremations normally take place very early in the morning when there is more availability at crematoria.
Disadvantages are that some national providers advertise on television and tell a story that is very much misleading and the deceased travels a long way to be cremated. This gives local funeral directors less opportunity to explain the exact process that direct cremation follows.
For the bereaved the main disadvantage is no opportunity for proper closure – the coming together of friends and family to support them. I appreciate people don’t want to go to a funeral, but it serves a much-needed opportunity to say goodbye. We have yet to learn what the long-term effects on the bereaved might be.
Do you believe in life after death?
Not entirely sure either way. I would like to think there is something beyond this life.
Could you tell us what your routine is on the day of a funeral?
My day generally starts around 6.00 am and am usually in full work mode at my desk from 7.00 am, often until late in the evenings, most days beyond 9.00/10.00 pm.
The evening before a funeral I call the family to put their mind at ease and answer any last-minute questions they may have so it gives them chance to have a relaxed and peaceful evening.
Shoe cleaning is my first task, followed by checking my uniform is ready for the day ahead and top hat brushed. Then I check all paperwork is in order. The staff will be busy polishing the vehicles whilst office staff are receiving flowers from our in-house florist or others.
I then do the final closure checks in the Chapel of Rest and seal down the lid ready to load the coffin onto the hearse.
Once we are ready to leave all staff get briefed of routes, details of parking at the house and church.
Then away we go by paging (walking in front of hearse) away from the Chapel of Rest, we page again to and from the house and finally at the crematorium/church. This in an historic tradition and shows respect as well as functioning as traffic control to lead the cortège safely to its destination.
Once the family are returned home or to a venue of their choice the cars return to our garages to be cleaned and valeted ready for the next service or the next day.
Any debriefs are then discussed with the team.
Whatever time is then left is desk time and phone calls ready to support the next family who entrust us with their loved one.
If a funeral cortège involves horses pulling a carriage for the coffin, how much more organisation does this take and we all know horses can be unpredictable, how do you deal with those pressures?
We use horses regularly across the business and bring in the skills of a coachman and his team who are ex-Royal Mews and have the experience of state occasions and ceremonial duties. This all takes detailed planning which indeed does add more pressure as we need to get things right absolutely every time.
It’s not everyone’s cup of tea to work in your industry, do you find it hard to get the right staff?
We take our time when recruiting but largely recruit on attitude. There is great need to have respectful staff at such a sensitive time and I can’t be more proud than I am of my team.
Are there certain times of the year when you are busier than usual?
Traditionally winter used to be busier but nowadays there is no real pattern. People imagine we are always busy but there are times we are not; at these times we catch up on tasks left for quieter periods as well as looking at growth opportunities
After all the funerals you have been a part of, has there ever been a moment, or connection you’ve had with a client that you will never forget and can you tell us about it and how it affected you?
There are literally hundreds, possibly thousands of funerals I have carried out over the last three decades in South Woodham Ferrers that I remember well and have been affected by. I am human with emotions and whilst we have to distance ourselves professionally it sometimes affects you – taking the burden of peoples’ grief and guiding them on this journey. This is my business but also my passion so I treat families in a way that is dignified and respectful, to make that final journey special for the deceased and their family. The biggest joy I get is when I see previous families we have looked after and get an approving “nod” across the street or more often at a funeral service they are attending. Children’s funerals are always difficult which goes without saying.
I had quite a traumatic experience when my mother was buried. On the morning of the funeral when the grave digger went to dig out her grave, we were told there was someone already in that grave.
i) Have you ever experienced anything like that?
In the past yes, but never on the day as we prepare things well ahead and often have records in Churchyards of where graves are.
ii) How would you explain the situation to the family and hopefully get it sorted?
Should this ever arise, we liaise with the burial authority i.e. Church or cemetery and suggest they, with our help find a resolution with the family. In over 17,000 funerals I can only recall a similar situation we had out near Colchester but it was a simple issue where the vicar had marked the wrong grave to be dug. We did need to discuss with the family and arranged the correct grave to be dug the following day.
How long did it take you to learn your skill?
I have been learning my profession since 1990 and am still learning every day
Finance for some people is a big worry, what advice would you say to them, is there help out there and do you offer pre-planned funeral packages?
We do offer pre-paid funerals through a regulated plan provider who securely hold the funds until time of need, which can be paid by instalments, but it is often best to discuss and plan your funeral in advance with us even if you don’t pay at the time. Knowing your wishes we can give people a budget that they can work towards with a savings plan. The key is to discuss things ahead of the time.
Do you offer the whole package including the gravestone. I found it really hard to get a stone mason, for my parents’ headstone. Why do you think this is, are people finding it too expensive, so no demand these days for headstones?
We have our own monumental masonry contractor so deal with every aspect within our business to fully support our families through the entire process
There has been some bad press recently, how does it make you feel when you hear stories giving the industry a bad name?
Frankly disgusted at some of the recent stories around incidents in Hull and Kent that have been heavily publicised. The reason both of these cases came about was the reluctance to be part of a trade association that monitors care and procedures. We are part of the National Association of Funeral Directors who regularly inspect us, without notice. To put yourself under this voluntary scrutiny demonstrates best practice. We always encourage families to ask questions, view our facilities ahead of time without reserve—to give confidence. Government are hoping to bring Regulation into England and Wales like they have recently done in Scotland. From my part, the sooner the better.
Being constantly surrounded grief, has this changed your perspective on life. What has this profession taught you about living and how do you switch off?
I think it is important to talk to colleagues, our own families at home about our days as it is often very difficult work. It certainly encourages you to not take tomorrow for granted. Being in business for so long shouldering the responsibility I never switch off fully, but I love what I do so much that I prefer to always be engaged in some aspect and therefore take very few holidays.
Do you do home visits?
We offer visits to families although most tend to favour coming into our office. We are always happy to accommodate house arrangements and have recently employed another team member purely to fill that role.
Can you share a story about a specific funeral service you planned that felt particularly meaningful or unique?
Each funeral is unique in its own way. I have conducted funerals with Royal Family present down to that of a tramp and everything in between. From services with one mourner to thousands.
What qualifications or accreditations do you have in the industry and what do they all mean?
I hold my Diploma in Funeral Directing which I qualified for in the early 1990’s before opening in the town. It is the most recognised certificate of excellence in our profession. Education is important so we ensure all members of our team are constantly involved in industry recognised training courses leading to Certification.
What is it you like about South Woodham as a Community and what do you do in your spare time, or do you do anything to support the community?
South Woodham Ferrers is a lovely town despite some negative comments people sometimes raise. I have been part of the town for over 30 years and now am one of the older businesses in the town. Over the years I have been part of the towns Rotary Club and have served as the Club President in 2008, I have been involved in the numerous business networking groups that have come and gone over the years.
I was made a Freeman of the City of London and now am a Liveryman of the Worshipful Company of Upholders which is our trade livery company which is over 600 years old.
Professionally I served for two years as the Chairman of Essex and Suffolk Funeral Directors.
Over the years we have sponsored the Seniors Film club, Swimarathon, Cricket Club and established the Bereavement Support Group. We used to sponsor the fireworks and also participated in various fetes and shows.
Alongside this I have a small holding where we have cows, pigs and sheep and a collection of vintage tractors and some classic funeral vehicles which are often seen at shows all over the UK.
Apart from South Woodham what other areas do you cover?
I have five other offices, namely Chelmsford, Maldon, Braintree, Burnham-on-Crouch and Hullbridge. Despite looking like a large business, we are still very small so any family can receive my personal attention as well as that of my amazing team.
In one sentence what is it that you enjoy about the job that you do?
I enjoy and take pride being able to guide families through the worst journey of their lfe.
On a lighter note, could I ask if that is your mother’s real surname?
Yes, Margaret Bone is my mother who works alongside me and has run the Bereavement Support Group in South Woodham Ferrers for over 25 years. My Step-Dad Antony Bone works on the IT side of the business. His father the late Professor Roger Bone was one of my biggest fans along with my other grandparents who I hope I have done proud.
