“When we look back at how our fostering journey began, we realise the signs were there long before we ever filled out an application form. Through the zoo business we run together, we’d often find ourselves supporting young staff who were going through difficult times. Somewhere along the line, we stopped just caring for animals and started caring deeply about the young people around us too. Helping them navigate life felt natural and it planted a seed that never went away. In 2022, we finally took the leap.”
Why we chose fostering
“We’d always wanted children and fostering just felt right for us. We worried at first that the process would be intrusive or overwhelming, but once we got started we realised it was nothing like that. Yes, there were questions and training sessions, but we always felt supported.
“Halfway through the process, James suffered a life‑changing injury to his arm and for a moment we wondered if fostering would still be possible. But the desire to create a safe and loving home never left us. As soon as James recovered, we picked up the process again. It turned out to be one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.”
Life with our young people
“We currently foster two children, a teenager who started living with us when they were 10-years-old and a younger child who joined us last summer. Both are thriving with structure, routine and the chance to just be children.
We also have four bulldogs who are a part of our family. So, our house is always busy, warm and full of love. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
“One of the most rewarding parts of fostering is seeing the change unfold. You don’t always notice it day by day, but suddenly you realise how confident they’ve become. You see how much their personality has grown and how capable they are of speaking up for themselves. Even watching them pick up our quirks, like our humour and our routines, makes us smile.”
The challenges we’ve faced and the support that has helped us thrive
“As first‑time parents, everything was a new learning curve. Some of the behaviours we’ve experienced were shaped by past trauma, but honestly, most of it is what any parent might face. We’ve learned that children in care aren’t ‘difficult’, they’re just children who haven’t always had their needs met.
“We’ve felt really supported by Essex County Council, not just emotionally, but practically too. We have peace of mind knowing that our supervising social worker, Jo, is always a call away. Even her manager has stepped in, making sure we felt supported and heard. We feel trusted to make decisions and knowing that we can put our hands up when we make mistakes and still be supported means everything.”
Being LGBTQ+ foster carers and challenging misconceptions
“As a same-sex couple, we had worries at the start: Would people judge us? Would they question whether we could provide the right care? Would there be strange assumptions around things like helping children get ready or offering them a hug? But we quickly learned those fears were unfounded.
“One of the biggest misconceptions we’ve encountered is the idea that you can’t comfort a child in foster care. That’s simply not true. Children need warmth, reassurance and connection – and fostering is about providing exactly that.
“Another common myth is that children in care are ‘damaged’. The young people who come into our home just need safety, routine, and love. Watching them grow with the right support is the biggest reminder that every child deserves a chance to thrive.”
Our message to anyone thinking about fostering
“If ever thought about fostering, especially if you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community and worried if you’ll be accepted, our advice is simple: Go for it!
“It’s not as hard as you might think and you’re never on your own. The training is brilliant, the support is there when you need it, and fostering gives you the chance to help rewrite a young person’s story.
“The idea that LGBTQ+ people can’t foster, or won’t be accepted, is so outdated. Our home is proof that love, stability and acceptance matter far more than anything else.”
Join one of our information events if you’d like to learn more about fostering. They’re a brilliant way to meet the team, hear real stories like Craig and James’s and ask any questions you might have.
https://www.essex.gov.uk/children-young-people-and-families/fostering/events