Many people across the Essex community will be well aware of nightmare divorce stories where two people argue for years, only for both to come away financially and emotionally drained.

This fear that divorce will be a nightmare might make people put off getting divorced even when it is the right course of action.

Nightmare divorces are not inevitable and we want to help you understand how to make sure yours stays healthy.

How do you start divorce proceedings amicably?

Start as you mean to go on by ensuring that the beginning of your divorce is amicable.

Divorce can be an emotionally challenging process to even consider, let alone undertake, and the impact that it may have on you and your (soon-to-be) ex-spouse should be considered.

This is especially true if you are the one initiating divorce proceedings.

For you, divorce has become inevitable and you will have likely considered the impact it will have on your life for the months or years it took you to get to this point.

The other person may not have had as much time to prepare and may feel blindsided by the divorce.

As challenging as it may be, patience is important here to ensure that they can process the situation effectively.

Giving them this time might help them to come to the divorce proceedings from a place of understanding.

Will the divorce proceedings make us start arguing?

It depends on the dynamic of the relationship, but there is no requirement for divorce proceedings to become an argument.

Knowing your rights and responsibilities and leaving blame by the wayside will let you both approach the divorce as something that will ultimately be in both of your best interests.

Although it is not unusual to hear people talk about winners and losers in divorces, there are ways to settle things fairly without a fight.

A court will try to divide assets based on a range of factors, all geared towards fairness.

Some of these factors include:

• Children’s welfare
• Financial contributions
• Assets and property owned prior to the marriage
• Needs and earning potential
• Age and health of each party
• Standard of living during the marriage

To ensure that this process runs smoothly, both you and your ex will need to be fully transparent about the assets and finances in your name.

If you are confident that you and your ex can resolve things amicably, you may not need to involve the court at all.

You can use mediation or collaborative law as an alternative to court, whereby you will have more control over the process and the outcomes.

We at Palmers Solicitors believe in finding healthy, workable solutions to divorce proceedings.

In supporting the people of Essex with their legal rights and responsibilities, we can encourage a better approach to divorce where the court is there if needed, but not necessarily the default option.

When a marriage or civil partnership ends, we can help you to feel ready to move forward with confidence.

If you need support with your divorce, whether you can settle it out of court or need representation, then speak to our team today.