Do you think of happiness as a destination, something you’ll achieve after hitting certain life milestones? It’s a nice thought; however, the reality is that we frequently replace each milestone reached with a new one and however hard we strive, that elusive happiness seems no closer.

One thing I’ve learned from working with hundreds of people over forty years as a healthcare professional is that happiness isn’t a distant goal it’s a daily practice. We can cultivate happiness deliberately like flowers in the garden, by taking regular small actions and learning simple mindset shifts.

In this article, I’ll give you practical steps and insights to help discover and nurture your own happiness.

Understanding Happiness

Before diving into the practicalities, it’s important to understand what happiness truly means. It’s not about feeling constant euphoria or wearing a permanent smile, it’s more finding a deep sense of contentment and fulfilment within us. Happiness encompasses everything from moments of sheer joy, to knowing you have the resilience to navigate life’s inevitable challenges.

Happiness is also more than a mood, it’s a chemical state, and we can manipulate our brain to produce happy chemicals (Endorphines, Serotonin, Dopamine and Oxytocin to name a few) by taking certain actions, regardless of the circumstances.

Cultivating Self-Awareness

The journey to happiness begins with self-awareness. Knowing ourselves, our desires, strengths, and values is crucial. Spending time to reflect on what happiness means to us as individuals is very important. Is it spending time with loved ones, being creative, skydiving, contributing to your community or something else?

Journaling, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can help us connect with our inner selves and identify these core sources of joy. They also help to release Serotonin which helps regulate our mood.

Embracing Authenticity

Many of us struggle under a burden of social expectations, family values and pressures to conform to certain roles or standards. But we are each unique and wonderfully so, embracing the real us means learning which of these external pressures to let go and how to live in alignment with our true self.

This might involve setting boundaries, saying ‘no’ to things that don’t serve us or that we’ve grown out of, and finding activities and people that genuinely resonate with us.

Oxytocin is a powerful bonding chemical and is released when we’re with people we resonate with. Simple gestures like giving a compliment, smiling at someone, maintaining eye contact, or appropriate affectionate touch can help release oxytocin.

Prioritizing Self-Care

Self-care is not a luxury but a necessity for happiness. It involves taking deliberate actions to care for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Taking care of ourselves is simple but it’s not always easy, or we’d all be doing it already. We ignore our needs because we feel selfish, get too busy, feel unworthy, feel we have to keep everyone happy, meet someone else’s expectations or constantly be achieving, or indeed all of the above.

Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep form the foundation of physical health. Endorphins our natural mood enhancers and pain relievers are released by exercise. Dopamine is released by good quality sleep.

Equally important is emotional self-care, which can include activities like reading, spending time in nature, or enjoying a hobby. Mental self-care might involve practices already mentioned like regular meditation, mindfulness exercises or therapy, but can be as simple as taking pause breaks every couple of hours to unwind and recharge the

thrive centres in your brain. These can be accessed via the five senses for example – Try pausing and focusing intently on the furthest sound you can hear for ten seconds then on the closest sound to you for ten seconds and then listen to your breathing for ten seconds (around three breaths.) feel how it calms the busy mind for a while.

Building Positive Relationships

Humans are inherently social beings, and our relationships at home and at work greatly impact our happiness.

Cultivating positive, supportive relationships can provide a sense of belonging and emotional support.

We must invest time and effort to nurture good connections with family, friends, and community. Relationships are complex and involve listening without judgement, being heard, feeling safe both physically and emotionally, having safe conflict resolution, and creating a space for everyone to feel unconditionally loved. The ‘wins’ in close relationships don’t come from being right they come from making other people feel heard and understood, showing up for their needs which they feel safe to express and receiving the same respect and courtesy in return.

We must also recognize and protect ourselves from toxic relationships that drain our energy and well-being, especially if there is no willingness for change to occur. We can let those people go with love to follow their own journey.

Practicing Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful tool for increasing happiness. Regularly acknowledging and celebrating the positive aspects of our life can help shift our focus from what’s lacking to what we already have.

Writing a daily journal or dictating a daily diary is a great way to document gratitude. Jotting down anything to be thankful for makes gratitude an intentional and mindful part of the day. Is it a patch of blue sky through the window, a favourite tune on the radio or opening the fridge to see plentiful food and having fresh water readily available? This habit enhances our overall outlook and help us find

joy in small, everyday moments that we might otherwise overlook. Completing that task everyday boosts our Serotonin as a bonus and it’s easier to remember if we attach journalling to an existing habit, so maybe journal as we drink our first coffee or straight after watching the ten o’clock news.

Setting and Pursuing Goals

Having clear achievable goals gives us a sense of purpose and direction, which is essential for long-term happiness. These goals should be meaningful and aligned with our values.

Break them down into small, manageable steps and celebrate every small progress along the way.

The journey is as important as the destination, and who we become on the journey is probably most important of all. Having material things only brings temporary satisfaction, the enjoyment of working towards a dream is hugely satisfying.

To help celebrate each small achievement, I have a jar filled with ‘promises’ on paper, little celebrations for myself, that I pick each time I take a step forward. One of my favourites is ten minutes uninterrupted reading time.

Embracing Positivity

A positive mindset can significantly impact our happiness. But can feel hard to maintain in the face of these challenging times. This doesn’t mean ignoring life’s difficulties but rather approaching challenges with a hopeful and resilient attitude.

It helps to surround ourselves with positive influences, whether it’s uplifting books, inspiring podcasts, or encouraging people.

We can practice catching negative thoughts and focusing our thoughts on creative solutions – ‘what could happen if it all goes well’ rather than focussing on problems and threats. For examplec atch the negative thought, ‘I’m really anxious and I know I’ll make a fool of myself.’ Change it to, ‘I accept that I might feel anxious, so I’ve

prepared well and whatever happens I’m proud of myself for trying. I don’t have to be perfect; I will only get better each time I do this.’

Living in the Present

Happiness is often found in the present moment, yet many of us spend so much time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

To help us stay grounded in the present we can steady ourselves by focusing on one of our five senses and put aside all other thoughts aside for ten seconds. Engage fully in whatever you’ve chosen whether it’s

• · Eating a meal where you savour every bite noticing texture, flavour and smell.
• · Seeing the colours and brush strokes in a painting
• · Walking mindfully feeling the contact of our feet in minute detail.

Engaging with nature and the outdoors is a great way to increase serotonin levels in the brain.

Being fully present for a few moments every hour can enhance our experience and bring greater joy to everyday life.

Giving Back

Acts of kindness and giving can boost our happiness.

Whether it’s volunteering our time, offering support to a friend, or simply performing small acts of kindness, giving back creates a sense of connection and purpose.

It reminds us of our shared humanity and the positive impact we can have on others.

Managing Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are common barriers to happiness. When we are stressed the chemical balance in our brain changes and we produce more adrenaline and cortisol which make us more likely to consider

potential threats and have a restricted view of the solutions to the challenge in front of us.

Learning effective stress management techniques is a crucial life skill. This might include physical activities like yoga or tai chi, relaxation techniques like deep breathing, calming visualisations or progressive muscle relaxation, or perhaps mental fitness strategies like positive intelligence techniques.

Identifying the source of our stress can significantly improve our overall well-being. Personal coaching isn’t only for elite athletes and business tycoons it is an excellent way to explore and find healthy ways to cope with everyday life and find our full potential. My Chakras, Colour and Coaching Course blends ancient wisdoms with modern science backed coaching It’s fun, enlightening and life-affirming for anyone.

Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we may struggle to find happiness by our own efforts. It’s important to recognize when professional help is needed. Therapists, counsellors, and coaches provide guidance, support, and strategies tailored to our unique situation.

Knowing who and when to ask for help isn’t a luxury it’s a sign of strength and a proactive step towards better mental health.

Creating a Balanced Life

Finally, we are all better when we have a balance in all areas of life. This includes balancing work and leisure, socializing and solitude, and activity and rest. A balanced life allows us to meet our needs without overextending ourselves or neglecting any one area.

Our balance point changes at different times in life and can be particularly affected at times of change and transition. Regularly assessing our life balance, having a non-judgemental space to touch base and adjust as needed, allows us to maintain our inner harmony. We all need that sometimes, just like we need our eyes checked and a dental check up from time to time.

Conclusion

Happiness is not a one-size-fits-all formula but a personal and dynamic journey. By understanding our unique sources of joy, embracing authenticity, prioritising self-care, building positive relationships, practicing gratitude, and managing stress, we can cultivate a happier, more fulfilling life. It’s a practice that requires some effort and attention, but the rewards are well worth it. As a wellness coach and physiotherapist, what I know is that these insights and strategies work, they empower us to create our own path to lasting happiness.

If you’d like to know more, let’s have a chat about how I could help. Book a free discovery call via my website www.accoaching.co.uk or call 01245 325037 I’ll send you a free quiz to see how you may be blocking your own happiness and a free eBook full of tips and advice.

Here’s to more happiness and less stress.

Angela Cairns